You might be a scouter if...

  • You decide to lash together the new deck on the back of your house
  • You didn't mind losing power to your house for three days
  • Your plans for remodeling the bathroom include digging the hole deeper
  • You plan to serve foil meals at your next dinner party
  • You were arrested by airport security because you wouldn't give up your official BSA pocket knife until the cop said "Thank you" when he had a hold on it
  • You walk the streets in broad daylight with a coffee cup and a flashlight hanging from your belt
  • You take a map and a compass along on a family walk around the block
  • You have your own desk and filing cabinet just for scout related paperwork
  • Your garage is full of what you used to consider trash, that you now consider raw materials for arts & crafts projects
  • Your calendar is full of meetings that you never forget, but you can't remember to get a card for your spouse's birthday
  • You really love your self-inflating sleep pad
  • Your neighbors hide when they see you going door to door with the popcorn order form again
  • You go to someone's house for dinner, don't like the food, and ask if they have peanut butter and jelly
  • Your front door has a zipper instead of a dead bolt
  • You know more than two ways to light a fire
  • Your gourmet meal consists of cornbread, "Spam," and bug-juice
  • Your "family vacation" includes 30 kids your spouse doesn't know
  • You hear the phrase, "Trust me, it's only an hour and a half a week!!" and can only laugh
  • You say "signs up" in a business meeting to quiet everyone down
  • You see a pile of rocks and immediately put them in a circle
  • You know 100 uses for a bandana
  • You have a collection of used candles and dryer lint
  • Your favorite cologne is "Deep Woods Off"
  • You have the end of every rope at home backspliced or whipped
  • You know 365 one pot meals
  • All your dishes have little pieces of egg stuck to them
  • Your pots and pans are all black
  • You always have a cup hooked to your belt
  • Your cannot walk by a piece of trash without picking it up
  • You carry a duffle bag size first-aid kit in your car
  • You carry your own toilet paper wherever you go
  • You spontaneously break into strange songs in public
  • You always read by flashlight
  • You hoard tent stakes
  • You always have hat hair
  • You actually own a left-handed smoke shifter
  • A trip to Philmont is a pilgrimage
  • The Scouts in your troop chipped in to have you abducted by a professional cult de-programer
  • You keep a bucket of water by your side while cooking dinner
  • You disconnect the automatic dishwasher in favor of the "3 bucket method"
  • You gave your wife a mummy bag. It was the nicest gift you've given her
  • You can recite the 12 points of the Scout Law backwards, in order, in 3 seconds flat
  • You named one of your kids "Baden"
  • You pack to go on a weekend trip to visit friends and you take your backpack instead of your suitcase
  • People don't recognize when you're not in uniform
  • You take the family on vacation, and you stop at the Scout office to pick up a tour permit
  • You have the local BSA office on speed dial
  • You actually own the book, "How to S*** in The Woods"
  • You have to go to the restroom and you start looking for a buddy
  • You wear two pair of socks to bed
  • You sleep under a trash bag
  • You're always counting how many matches you have left
  • You're the only one on your block with a fire pit in the back yard
  • You correct someone who says "Gee, I used to be an Eagle Scout", and then get him to volunteer in your troop
  • You can't remember which hand to shake with in the office on Monday morning
  • Latrines at camp start becoming comfortable